Okay, so still no local police clearance letter for us. Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... This is character building, right?! Can't wait for it to just get here.
Meanwhile, we've had another conference call with our social worker and determined that we won't likely be able to meet our mid- Sept. goal of traveling to Taiwan to bring Eli home. Even if the paper work came tomorrow, the time to get it to Taiwan, process it, get tickets and get there - too tight and very unlikely to work out. So, last Friday (August 24) we had to request new dates. Kinda sad, but necessary. We should be hearing back from our agency in Taiwan soon about the end of Sept or early October for our travel time. Likely early October bc there are several other families traveling at the end of September already, and our agency is small.
In good news, our skype session that had been canceled due to the most recent typhoon was rescheduled. Skype session #3 was tonight (August 30). It was short, but it went very well. They called 20 minutes late bc of internet troubles and we were only connected for about 15-20 minutes (instead of the usual 30). But it was really neat to re-connect with our little guy after having seen him and shared a meal, play time and all a few weeks ago. He definitely remembered us! :) He had the little orange phone we gave him and was talking to us on it. We read him the cute Waddle book and he remembered it from our visit. He read us an animal book with animal sounds (loved the elephant) and a book with ambulance and police car sounds. We showed him his new (from local yard sale!) farm play set and some cars. He loves cars! J played the accordion for him. He really liked that too. He was talking and talking (all in Mandarin Chinese, of course) and not very shy at all. It was so great to see him and his sweet smile. He's so adorable!
Really hope to have travel dates to share soon!
Don't laugh - I did my first load of 2T and 3T laundry. Oh my cuteness! His clothes are so tiny and cute! I didn't know that kid undies come in packs of 7 - too funny! J has painted his dresser - it looks great! And I'm going to be filling it with his clothes tomorrow. Yeah! :) This is all really happening. I'm washing tiny tot clothes.
*As of this post you are currently up to date. You know what we do about our process (well, mostly). We'll update from here.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
the fingerprinting saga (or mid-August update...)
And now home in Rochester - around mid- August.
Still quite jet lagged but life is moving at full speed. We are getting our final house projects done, I'm attending PD workshops for school, trying to return to our "normal" lives here. So much to get ready for though.
It's August 14 and 15 now and J has been in close contact with our Immigration Officer. She has been super!!! He explains our now short timeline to her and she is very helpful. She faxes him a copy of a form we need - this shaved off a week for us to fill it out, mail it to her, have her set a date and mail the form to us! We get the form and it has Aug 29 set as our appointment in Buffal0 to get our next set of fingerprint updates. She tells us though that if we send in a letter, or visit the office in person we could ASK to be put on an "on call" list and maybe be called in earlier than 8/29 for our fingerprint updates. Heck, ya! We drive out to Buffal0 and are ready to beg, plead, cry if necessary to get on that "on call" list, but no need. We are greeted by very gracious workers. They do better than put us on a list. They write on our form that we are to be printed that same day! Aug 15 - Hooray! So we save two weeks here and get printed early.
Then J is back in touch with our Immigration office on August 20 and 21. Our usual Immigration Officer is away on vacation (oh no!), but we are now working with another Officer, who is also super helpful - wow are we lucky! :) She checks on our paper work and sees that J's has come in, but mine has not. We're not surprised bc my fingerprints have been DENIED every single time I've had them done - electronically or inked locally at three different venues, and in Buffal0 several times now. I have these very unusual vertical lines that go down the pads of all my fingers and impede the printing of the rounded parts that are essential for fingerprinting. Doesn't it seem like my prints should then be very unique and tough to duplicate or forge? I guess that's not the way it works. I've had a few people tell me I should be a thief... not likely. ;)
So because my papers are not in, she's thinking I'll get my "your prints have not passed" note soon. She tells us we can go in to our local police office to get a clearance letter, to be ahead of the game for when we get our denial note. She wants the clearance note faxed to her the same day, so we race in to the downtown office and fill out the form, pay the money, and are told it's going to take a week or two!!! What?! Not cool. I guess folks are on vacation, so the office work is going slower. This is our third time to make this trip in to the local office for my clearance letter (bc of so many denied fingerprint episodes) and it has never taken that long. Bummer. Well, we'll just have to wait.
But it seems like I won't be required to make the second appointment and trip to Buffal0 to get prints that won't pass. I think we'll be able to use the clearance letter as soon as we get it. Soooo, here's hoping we get that letter soon!
Still quite jet lagged but life is moving at full speed. We are getting our final house projects done, I'm attending PD workshops for school, trying to return to our "normal" lives here. So much to get ready for though.
It's August 14 and 15 now and J has been in close contact with our Immigration Officer. She has been super!!! He explains our now short timeline to her and she is very helpful. She faxes him a copy of a form we need - this shaved off a week for us to fill it out, mail it to her, have her set a date and mail the form to us! We get the form and it has Aug 29 set as our appointment in Buffal0 to get our next set of fingerprint updates. She tells us though that if we send in a letter, or visit the office in person we could ASK to be put on an "on call" list and maybe be called in earlier than 8/29 for our fingerprint updates. Heck, ya! We drive out to Buffal0 and are ready to beg, plead, cry if necessary to get on that "on call" list, but no need. We are greeted by very gracious workers. They do better than put us on a list. They write on our form that we are to be printed that same day! Aug 15 - Hooray! So we save two weeks here and get printed early.
Then J is back in touch with our Immigration office on August 20 and 21. Our usual Immigration Officer is away on vacation (oh no!), but we are now working with another Officer, who is also super helpful - wow are we lucky! :) She checks on our paper work and sees that J's has come in, but mine has not. We're not surprised bc my fingerprints have been DENIED every single time I've had them done - electronically or inked locally at three different venues, and in Buffal0 several times now. I have these very unusual vertical lines that go down the pads of all my fingers and impede the printing of the rounded parts that are essential for fingerprinting. Doesn't it seem like my prints should then be very unique and tough to duplicate or forge? I guess that's not the way it works. I've had a few people tell me I should be a thief... not likely. ;)
So because my papers are not in, she's thinking I'll get my "your prints have not passed" note soon. She tells us we can go in to our local police office to get a clearance letter, to be ahead of the game for when we get our denial note. She wants the clearance note faxed to her the same day, so we race in to the downtown office and fill out the form, pay the money, and are told it's going to take a week or two!!! What?! Not cool. I guess folks are on vacation, so the office work is going slower. This is our third time to make this trip in to the local office for my clearance letter (bc of so many denied fingerprint episodes) and it has never taken that long. Bummer. Well, we'll just have to wait.
But it seems like I won't be required to make the second appointment and trip to Buffal0 to get prints that won't pass. I think we'll be able to use the clearance letter as soon as we get it. Soooo, here's hoping we get that letter soon!
August 11 - finally home! and IT'S OFFICIAL!!!
Sat Aug 11th email:
We thought getting to Taiwan was long at a 28 hour trip. But coming home it took us 48 hours - had to spend a night in DC bc of bad weather and several canceled flights. So we didn't get home until August 10th at night (instead of Aug 9th) after a difficult few days of travel home. Talk about exhausted. So glad it was just us two for the very long return. Hoping next time goes much more smoothly.
We heard from our social worker on Fri (8/10) while we were traveling home. Well, to be precise, we had a conference call with her in the middle of the DC airport amidst lots of noise and chaos (but what are you gonna do? - it worked). The judge we saw in Hs*nchu definitely approved our adoption of Eli. Papers are signed and set.
It's official he will be our son! :) :) :)
And not only did she indeed save us 3 months of time, but she also pre-approved the final court ruling too. So, we really truly are all set now. We won't need to return to court on our next trip to Taiwan (and worry about a ruling). Woo Hoo!
Our agency let us know that they have set up his passport date and our custody hearing date for the second week in September - even sooner than we had been shocked to find out last week!!! Some of our paper work isn't current b/c we weren't expecting to travel until December-ish and were advised to wait to update it until closer to before we left, so we're really going to have to scramble to get things together in order to make it for those dates in Sept. We'll see how things go. We'll plan to keep in close contact w our SWs and hope it will all work out.
We may be bringing Eli home by mid- Sept - what a blessed surprise!!! He could be home in a month (if they are able to help us expedite our last set of fingerprint updates)! WoW!!! We're stunned and now trying to think of all we need to get done in 3-4 weeks - next trip airline and hotel tix booking included. WOW!!!
Can't wait to see you soon and show you photos. I can hardly wait to post photos of our cute little guy! He's such a darling!!! :)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Court hearing in Taiwan Aug 1 :) Hooray!
Okay here is August 1st: In Taiwan
This was from parts of an email written the evening of 8/1/12:
We were ready to go in w confidence and "impress" the judge, while being honest, up front, friendly, as we had been instructed. Both days we traveled by train to Hs*nchu w the social workers and there was a typhoon passing through now - so crrrazy wind and torrential rain, lots of flooding, but we made it and they didn't cancel our hearing. (Our SWs were certain they would cancel bc the weather was so bad and many offices were closed and it was declared a typhoon day in Taipei.) We met w the judge and 2 interpreters, 2 clerks, 3 social workers Wed afternoon.
I was asking if we stand when the judge enters, but they weren't sure, bc it was their first time in the court in this city. A young woman walked in and I (whisper) asked if she was the judge. I was told twice she wasn't, but it turns out - she sat down and began the hearing - she was our judge!
She asked us several direct and tough questions. We both answered them. Interpreters did only an okay job and at the end didn't interpret for us sufficiently. We ended up having to pay a lot for the court's interpreter too, and we already had our agency interpreter, anyhow. It was fine. The judge didn't ask questions of our social workers, as we thought she would.
The judge shocked our social workers and did something this afternoon for us that they said they've NEVER experienced before in their adoption court procedures. We didn't understand what was happening, bc of the translators who were too shocked from what was happening to tell us! Our judge said she was pleased and impressed with our having come over for the initial court date and she was going to decide on her ruling today, during our court case, instead of in the usual 2-3 months from now (w more paper work, additional SW reports, more Q & As for us, etc during that waiting period).
She ruled in favor of us adopting sweet Eli right on the spot!
Everyone was shocked! The SWs were giddy and giggling w excitement and we just cried (once we figured things out). :) :) :) :) :)
She ruled in favor of us adopting sweet Eli right on the spot!
Everyone was shocked! The SWs were giddy and giggling w excitement and we just cried (once we figured things out). :) :) :) :) :)
All sounds good. We have been assured that our process is definitely going to happen and MUCH sooner than we had thought. We don't want to believe it all yet and won't really until we have signed judge approval in hand. This should come next week though!
The SWs are starting work on Eli's passport and health inspection now. This judge shaved 2-3 months off our timeline and the SWs say we'll most likely travel to TW and bring Eli home at the end of September!!! Can you even believe it?!?!? We are in shock, but so so happy. What an exhausting couple of days this has been.
We are beat but so delighted to know that we'll be bringing our little man home to eat fall garden veggies and see the leaves change! Wow are we ever overjoyed!!!
With a heart that is over the moon happy,
Drowning in tears of joy,
Cori :)
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
quick update Aug 22
Amidst workshops for school, recovering (still!) from jet lag, and just trying to live life I haven't had time to update this blog as I'm wanting to. There's still so much more of our summer story to tell. And every day we keep getting new info and changes. Adjusting and adapting a lot lately over here. (So character building, right?!)
One disappointment today was that our 10pm skype session was canceled. There's another typhoon passing near Taipei, so they had to cancel it this afternoon. Bummer. It would've been our third skype time and we were really looking forward to it, especially now since having met sweet little Eli. Don't know if it will be rescheduled or not.
Can't complain though because every other adoption piece this week has gone miraculously well. We keep finding kind and generous people at the end of each phone call and behind every desk. I'm absolutely shocked at how AMAZING so many people are being with the extra help and support they are giving, though we're totally at their mercy. Seriously, so so many strangers and people who have the ability to make or break things here for us in this process have been outstanding! They are again and again going above and beyond for us. I'm quite overwhelmed by the goodness.
Thank you dear friends and family for all your thoughts, prayers, and positive energy. I KNOW it's working!
One disappointment today was that our 10pm skype session was canceled. There's another typhoon passing near Taipei, so they had to cancel it this afternoon. Bummer. It would've been our third skype time and we were really looking forward to it, especially now since having met sweet little Eli. Don't know if it will be rescheduled or not.
Can't complain though because every other adoption piece this week has gone miraculously well. We keep finding kind and generous people at the end of each phone call and behind every desk. I'm absolutely shocked at how AMAZING so many people are being with the extra help and support they are giving, though we're totally at their mercy. Seriously, so so many strangers and people who have the ability to make or break things here for us in this process have been outstanding! They are again and again going above and beyond for us. I'm quite overwhelmed by the goodness.
Thank you dear friends and family for all your thoughts, prayers, and positive energy. I KNOW it's working!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Meeting Eli for the first time - July 31
The note below was written on July 31 - after our "interaction time" with Eli.
Today was such a special day! :) :) :)
Today was such a special day! :) :) :)
We were accompanied by 3! social workers and a translator to meet little Eli. He has grown, but still looks very much like his photos.
He was wide-eyed for only a short while when we arrived at the family restaurant/play center. He was drawing on a paper with a marker when we got there. J and I sat on either side of him. He quickly gave J his marker and asked him to draw with him - so sweet. He wanted to J to draw him an airplane.
We ordered food and then gave him his gifts - books, a hat, penguin backpack, music cd, two matchbox cars. He LOVED the cars and played with them for a long while, as we waited for the food to come. Eli and J were having a great time playing 'drop the cars'. Eli was giggling and it was beautiful.
We had soup first and he liked that and the crackers to go with it. He was blowing on the soup to cool it and he fed himself using a spoon! He didn't want to get messy at all and wiped up any and all drips. He didn't like the raisins or cukes, but liked the corn from his salad. He ate a little of our pizza - we cut it up and he used a fork on his own. He had water and juice from cups on his own too. His kids meal came next and he ate some french fries, chicken and noodles with his little fork.
Next we went to play on the kid slides and rocking toys - he enjoyed those. Then we gave him his electronic toy cell phone (w songs, numbers, greetings, games on it) and he LOVED this as well. He was walking all over talking on it and acting like he had important negotiations or something going on - pausing to listen and then talking and talking in Chinese saying things like "what?, okay, good, good, bye, hello, hello... " - so cute! He kept this with him for a long time.
We walked outside and saw many animals - ducks, oxen, pigs, peacocks, horses. He stopped and held out his phone to the ox to let him talk - so funny! Then we walked to the sand box play area. He enjoyed the buckets, watering cans, other tools, and especially the water basin. He washed his hands and feet several times. Didn't seem to like the sand on him, but liked playing there. He doused himself with the water a couple of times accidentally. The water spigot was very fast, but he wanted to do it himself... (If you see our photos, that's why his shorts are all wet.)
Next Eli and J went out to a large field of trimmed grass where there were two huge balls and they ran and played there, kicking and throwing the huge balls for quite a while. Eli was laughing so hard. His laugh sounds like music! :) They were having a great time in the open green space. It was a little cloudy but still very hot. We were all sweaty. Are you tired yet?!? We were, but the bounce house was next!! He was scared of the bat man bounce house part - it was kinda creepy.... But he really enjoyed the large air blown slide. He climbed up and slid down many times - all while still talking on his phone. (I think he must've been telling a friend all about his day... but he sure was seeming pretty serious about it. He definitely comes from a culture where he has seen many people on cell phones, and knows the drill.)
Then back to the sand box, large balls, bounce slide, more hand washing/playing in the water basin. Then back to the indoor slides and finally some time to sit and read, play with cars at the table again w the social workers. They mostly let J and I enjoy Eli on our own around the play center, which was nice. They brought the sand toys, towels, some of his cars along.
We made a couple of bathroom trips through out the afternoon -each of us with him once. He is not wearing diapers anymore and goes pretty much independently!!! They said he hasn't been wearing diapers at all this year and just wears them to bed. We were shocked!
Eli seemed surprisingly well-adjusted. He was neither afraid of us nor too clingy. He sat on our laps and let us carry him around some, though sometimes he wanted to walk or run on his own too. He seemed to understand that he'll be going home with us and was calling us mom and dad. His foster mom has been talking to him daily about how he'll go home in an airplane with mom and dad. He seems excited about this. (I think that's why he asked J to draw him an airplane .) He was eager to play with us and really enjoyed the time. He never cried or was ill-tempered, and when we said good bye he said "See you soon, see you when you come next time." Clearly they have been spending a lot of time prepping him for this. What an unexpected blessing! :)
All in all it was a wonderful day! J was amazing! Eli was drawn to him and they had such a great time together! My heart was so happy!! :) We took many many photos and will share them when we get home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The social workers were great about explaining things to us about the court, adoption procedures, next steps, his foster family and daily life. There were many surprises about things being different from what we had previously been told: Eli and his foster mom won't be at court tomorrow. Foster mom wasn't there today. We won't meet her until the final day our next trip. This is our agency's first court case in Hs*nchu - all the others have been in Taipei. There was a new very strict adoption law passed in June in Taiwan making international adoptions much more difficult. Our judge may be tough on us. We were told "He may or may not rule in our favor for this adoption - there's no guarantee. The judge has a lot of power in Taiwan." This was tough news to get.
Our social workers are doing all they can to best support us and make this all happen smoothly. We were told we need to "impress" the judge. He will likely ask us many hard questions and take 2-3 months to make his ruling. Everyone here wants this to work, so we are hoping the judge will too.
Okay, that's a lot of info. for you. Just wanted you to hear how things went, but I guess I got carried away w the details. Thanks for reading and thanks for your thoughts and prayers too. I'll write again tomorrow after our court date to let you know how things seemed to go.
Next post will be our court hearing day - August 1....
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
end of June and July 2012: full of surprises!
* I need to make a disclaimer here. These posts are being written while I'm still jet lagged (mid-August) and a bit foggy-brained. So please keep that in mind while reading. I'm not doing tons of editing. Just wanted this to be a place to process and share this experience. Thanks for not judging me too harshly.
The school year had just ended. We were awaiting news of the date for our first court hearing in Taiwan. We were expecting to hear when the date would be any day now. Well, on June 25th we get a call from our social worker. She lets us know that a new adoption law has just been passed in Taiwan and that the courts in Taiwan are going to be making things more difficult for international adoptions. The goal is going to be for there to be more domestic adoptions within Taiwan. Some agencies have closed their Taiwan programs because of the new law and challenges.
The good news is our program is not closing. Phew! Big sigh of relief. The bad news is our paper work went to a judge who is choosing to be very strict about things and will not allow our agency (in Taiwan) to represent us in court using "power of attorney" as was the plan, and as they've always done for families up to this point. This means we need to travel to Taiwan by the end of July to attend our first court hearing! Eeeep! We were totally shocked by this news. We had been saving and planning for a December-ish trip now you're saying July!!
Our options are A) accept this mandate and show up for the court date or B) rescind and reapply - but in order to get a different judge we need to wait 3 months to reapply and there's no guarantee the next judge wouldn't tell us the same thing, given the climate for int'l adoptions in Taiwan right now. Well, obviously we chose A. As our social workers recommended, we gave Taiwan a window in which we thought we could travel and were waiting hoping they would give us our first court hearing date within our window. We offered July 30 - August 10. And then waited.
On June 26th we had skype session #2 with Eli. Yes, this was one day after we were blown away by the "now you need to get to Taiwan in the summer as well" news. Our agencies were all very kind and very apologetic about this new turn of events. They even tried to offer a skype session for the court date to the judge, but no. So, skype #2 went well. I wrote about that already, right? Sorry I'm trying to keep things linear here, but it gets a little jumbled when so much happens at once.
Early in July we got info. telling us the court had set August 1 as our date. We were to attend the hearing. Our agency was to set up "interaction" time for us and Eli too. Most likely we would have a play date at the child care center where the social workers are based in Taipei (this is what we're told). This is the same place were Eli travels to for our skype sessions with him, so we've kinda seen the space. It's nice. We would be required to meet Eli before the court date and might be able to see him a couple of times (this is what we're told). Social workers are very busy though, so we were told not to expect too much time with him.
Well, one of the reasons we chose our Taiwan program was because it was a "one trip" program. This whole two trip process seemed emotionally much too difficult for me. I couldn't imagine having to meet a child, fall in love, say good bye and fly home without him/her. And now there we're sitting with the fact that we would need to do just that. I kept on saying to myself, "I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do this. I don't think I'm strong enough for this." A dear friend (you know who you are :) ) said to me, "Cori, you have more strength within you than you realize. You will be able to do this." I wanted to believe her, but I really wasn't sure. (I didn't want to be that crazy crying lady in the news who the police were forcefully pulling away by her waist.)
So, with about two weeks until our departure we bought our airline tickets, reserved our hotels, made some rough sketch travel plans. Since we didn't have a choice about buying pricey last minute summer airfare, we decided we might as well extend our trip to be longer than just the required 4 days and have a chance to visit some friends, try to relax, enjoy exploring Taiwan. Good decision! We scheduled our trip for July 27 - August 9. We were going to Taipei, Hsinchu, Kaohsiung, Hualien. J had never been to Taiwan and I had so many things I wanted to share with him. :)
I was teaching 1/2 days of ESL at Roberts for an intensive summer program for all of July. I ended this program one day early in order to leave on Friday instead of Saturday saving us about 600 dollars. Thank you, RWC for allowing me to do this. Packing and preparing for an unbelievable trip filled up the second have of July quickly. And I was in search of the perfect small, fun, educational, unique gifts for Eli.
We were told that we had a 1/2 day to spend with Eli - this would be on July 31. They wanted to schedule more time for us to spend with him. I had very mixed feelings about this. Would it be more difficult for him to see us more often and then have us leave for several months? Would he be confused about who we are and what's going on? We gave some other dates that we were available to see him but in the end their social workers were very busy and they didn't have any more time available to facilitate another meeting. I was both disappointed and relieved. I know that sounds impossible, but it was all there at the same time.
Next post will be THE TRIP!
I'm trying to get things up here quickly b/c each day this week we've had new developments and I would love to be updating in closer to real time. I'm getting there....
The school year had just ended. We were awaiting news of the date for our first court hearing in Taiwan. We were expecting to hear when the date would be any day now. Well, on June 25th we get a call from our social worker. She lets us know that a new adoption law has just been passed in Taiwan and that the courts in Taiwan are going to be making things more difficult for international adoptions. The goal is going to be for there to be more domestic adoptions within Taiwan. Some agencies have closed their Taiwan programs because of the new law and challenges.
The good news is our program is not closing. Phew! Big sigh of relief. The bad news is our paper work went to a judge who is choosing to be very strict about things and will not allow our agency (in Taiwan) to represent us in court using "power of attorney" as was the plan, and as they've always done for families up to this point. This means we need to travel to Taiwan by the end of July to attend our first court hearing! Eeeep! We were totally shocked by this news. We had been saving and planning for a December-ish trip now you're saying July!!
Our options are A) accept this mandate and show up for the court date or B) rescind and reapply - but in order to get a different judge we need to wait 3 months to reapply and there's no guarantee the next judge wouldn't tell us the same thing, given the climate for int'l adoptions in Taiwan right now. Well, obviously we chose A. As our social workers recommended, we gave Taiwan a window in which we thought we could travel and were waiting hoping they would give us our first court hearing date within our window. We offered July 30 - August 10. And then waited.
On June 26th we had skype session #2 with Eli. Yes, this was one day after we were blown away by the "now you need to get to Taiwan in the summer as well" news. Our agencies were all very kind and very apologetic about this new turn of events. They even tried to offer a skype session for the court date to the judge, but no. So, skype #2 went well. I wrote about that already, right? Sorry I'm trying to keep things linear here, but it gets a little jumbled when so much happens at once.
Early in July we got info. telling us the court had set August 1 as our date. We were to attend the hearing. Our agency was to set up "interaction" time for us and Eli too. Most likely we would have a play date at the child care center where the social workers are based in Taipei (this is what we're told). This is the same place were Eli travels to for our skype sessions with him, so we've kinda seen the space. It's nice. We would be required to meet Eli before the court date and might be able to see him a couple of times (this is what we're told). Social workers are very busy though, so we were told not to expect too much time with him.
Well, one of the reasons we chose our Taiwan program was because it was a "one trip" program. This whole two trip process seemed emotionally much too difficult for me. I couldn't imagine having to meet a child, fall in love, say good bye and fly home without him/her. And now there we're sitting with the fact that we would need to do just that. I kept on saying to myself, "I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do this. I don't think I'm strong enough for this." A dear friend (you know who you are :) ) said to me, "Cori, you have more strength within you than you realize. You will be able to do this." I wanted to believe her, but I really wasn't sure. (I didn't want to be that crazy crying lady in the news who the police were forcefully pulling away by her waist.)
So, with about two weeks until our departure we bought our airline tickets, reserved our hotels, made some rough sketch travel plans. Since we didn't have a choice about buying pricey last minute summer airfare, we decided we might as well extend our trip to be longer than just the required 4 days and have a chance to visit some friends, try to relax, enjoy exploring Taiwan. Good decision! We scheduled our trip for July 27 - August 9. We were going to Taipei, Hsinchu, Kaohsiung, Hualien. J had never been to Taiwan and I had so many things I wanted to share with him. :)
I was teaching 1/2 days of ESL at Roberts for an intensive summer program for all of July. I ended this program one day early in order to leave on Friday instead of Saturday saving us about 600 dollars. Thank you, RWC for allowing me to do this. Packing and preparing for an unbelievable trip filled up the second have of July quickly. And I was in search of the perfect small, fun, educational, unique gifts for Eli.
We were told that we had a 1/2 day to spend with Eli - this would be on July 31. They wanted to schedule more time for us to spend with him. I had very mixed feelings about this. Would it be more difficult for him to see us more often and then have us leave for several months? Would he be confused about who we are and what's going on? We gave some other dates that we were available to see him but in the end their social workers were very busy and they didn't have any more time available to facilitate another meeting. I was both disappointed and relieved. I know that sounds impossible, but it was all there at the same time.
Next post will be THE TRIP!
I'm trying to get things up here quickly b/c each day this week we've had new developments and I would love to be updating in closer to real time. I'm getting there....
Saturday, August 11, 2012
How cute is this?
Just before saying goodbye. Auntie Amanda purchased this cute penguin backpack for him. I thought it was too cute to pass up when I saw it at the market in Dan Shui a few days before we met him. We used it to hold the books, cars, treats we brought. Isn't it just perfect on him?! :)Year of the Ox, Year of the Rabbit, Year of the Ox
My favorite find from our recent trip to Taiwan. The stamp says "Dan Shui" - that's where we were with my friend Amanda when we spotted this shop making little custom clay "families". J is the year of the ox. I am the year of the rabbit and little E is the year of the ox, like J. :)October 2011 - June 2012: Referral season
Okay, so new school district, two new schools, many new co-workers and students. All is going well though. I'm adjusting and liking my new situation and work. :)
My birthday was on a Sunday (Oct 23) and we had a good weekend celebrating. On Monday morning October 24, 2011 as I was driving in to school I had a brief thought pass through my mind. It was fast but went like this: "Wow - we really could get our referral at any time now!" Well, wouldn't ya know it, that same day we got a call from our WHFC social worker with information about a referral!!! (Sabrina, doesn't this sound familiar?!...)
I'm not ever good at keeping near my phone, but that day I had forgotten to look at it all day. I was still working away at about 5pm when I remembered to check it and J had called me several times that day and so had our SW from WHFC. I called J to see what was going on. I could tell right away from talking with him that something was up. Our SW had called and talked with him about the referral in the morning and he wanted to wait until I got home to tell me about it in person. She had left me a message too, asking me to call her bc she had some important news for us. I couldn't wait to drive home and talk to J in person (i had a hunch about the news), so I had him tell me over the phone. Oh what tears of joy! The news of a 2 year old little boy who needed a family and had been selected for us to consider for adoption. What a shock! I could barely drive home b/c I couldn't stop crying. So thrilling. So soon.
Next we were sent 6 photos of a sweet little boy named "Little Z". He was adorable! We were so excited!!! We also got many pages of detailed info about his health, social and physical behaviors, eating, sleeping, personality, playing, language development, height and weight and measurements. We had about a week to respond to WHFC and let them know if we would accept or decline the referral they had sent us. J made an appt with a great local pediatrician who specializes in international adoption for Friday, October 28. I wasn't able to go to the appt but I sent questions along and asked him to record their meeting. That night we listened to the tape together and talked about what the Dr. had said. There didn't seem like any reason keeping us from accepting the referral for cute "little Z". :) Woo hoo!!!
I think it was December when we chose the name Eli for him. I'll have to ask my Book Club gals when we read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, because we chose the name shortly before we read that book in Book Club. I know this because the name Eli is in the book and I was delighted to see it there. It's a good book, btw, just an awful title. S, A, J, and L - do you remember when we read the Potato Peel book? At any rate, we tried to find a name with same meaning as "little Z", no luck. We tried to find a name that we liked that sounded like "little Z", no luck there either. So we chose Eli bc we both liked it a lot, it's easy to say and spell, and it seemed to suit him, or at least his photos.
Then there were phone conference calls with our SWs. More paper work. Monthly photo updates - usually three new photos arrived via email each month. And in March we got another extensive update on him - full physical, therapist reports, social workers reports, detailed info from his foster mom. We were told we would soon be scheduled for skype video sessions with him! :) Yeah!
With guidance from our WHFC SWs, we put together a care package in March and sent it to Taipei to Chung Yi Child Welfare Center. They got it to him and our May photos show him opening and enjoying the treats: photo album of our house and family, cd of kids music, Good Night, Gorilla book, crayons, stickers, small stuffed dog, small squishy balls... He was also riding a bike in these photos! We were so surprised to see that. Training wheels on, of course, but going full speed ahead on his own.
On May 16th at 10pm we had our first skype session with Eli. We were also given lots of support from WHFC for our skype session preparations. They gave us ideas of how to structure the time, what to expect, things to plan for, etc. So helpful! The skype session was fun. We read books, he played with blocks, we sang the clean up song for him - he apparently loves to clean up. :) We showed him the attic play space and some animal toys, play food... We got to see him run a little and smile. He kept on holding things up to the computer screen to show us. When he was reading books on the table he would keep on looking up to check on us. So sweet.
Spent a good amount of time in May and June getting Eli's room ready. This meant rearranging our 2nd floor rooms a good deal. My office, Penny (our pet hedgehog) and laundry and ironing are all in the pink room now. Eli's room is where my office used to be in the smaller light brown walled room (SW). We got a small shelf in there, a dresser, a toddler bed, bean bag cushion and farm scene rug from Target, small red table and chairs from Ikea. The shelf is made out of the drawers that used to be built into J's office wall. He built a laundry chute from the 2nd and 1st floor down to the basement and re-did his entire closet. By re-did I mean took a sledge hammer to all the walls and tore the whole thing apart before rebuilding and reshaping it around the laundry chute, constructing new shelves, poles, using old shutters for the shelf sides, painting it all brown - it's very cool! And so he took the old white drawers out and attached them to each other making a unique looking shelf unit for Eli's room. It's fun to re-use! :) (Have you seen our bed head board that J made from an old door?!)
On June 26th at 10pm we had skype session #2. Thank you to J's brother, Matt for letting us borrow his laptop for both of these sessions. Ours was too old to be able to handle skype. This time we had the skype session in Eli's room. We read some books, played with cars. He had a hat and sunglasses on and was sure to point out his new clothes (with American flags on his shirt). We showed him around his room. The best part was when he pulled out this harmonica. Not a kids harmonica, mind you, the real deal. He was blowing his little heart out playing it. I thought he might pass out, but no, he kept on going. J went up to the attic to get his guitar to play along with him. Eli noticed that J was gone and was asking where he went. I said he'd be right back. He came back soon and played the guitar for Eli. He loved it! The two of them had this great jam session together. My plan was not to cry, but how could anyone blame me really. It was such a precious moment! :)
I'll stop here with this one for now and the next one will be about our shocking July!
My birthday was on a Sunday (Oct 23) and we had a good weekend celebrating. On Monday morning October 24, 2011 as I was driving in to school I had a brief thought pass through my mind. It was fast but went like this: "Wow - we really could get our referral at any time now!" Well, wouldn't ya know it, that same day we got a call from our WHFC social worker with information about a referral!!! (Sabrina, doesn't this sound familiar?!...)
I'm not ever good at keeping near my phone, but that day I had forgotten to look at it all day. I was still working away at about 5pm when I remembered to check it and J had called me several times that day and so had our SW from WHFC. I called J to see what was going on. I could tell right away from talking with him that something was up. Our SW had called and talked with him about the referral in the morning and he wanted to wait until I got home to tell me about it in person. She had left me a message too, asking me to call her bc she had some important news for us. I couldn't wait to drive home and talk to J in person (i had a hunch about the news), so I had him tell me over the phone. Oh what tears of joy! The news of a 2 year old little boy who needed a family and had been selected for us to consider for adoption. What a shock! I could barely drive home b/c I couldn't stop crying. So thrilling. So soon.
Next we were sent 6 photos of a sweet little boy named "Little Z". He was adorable! We were so excited!!! We also got many pages of detailed info about his health, social and physical behaviors, eating, sleeping, personality, playing, language development, height and weight and measurements. We had about a week to respond to WHFC and let them know if we would accept or decline the referral they had sent us. J made an appt with a great local pediatrician who specializes in international adoption for Friday, October 28. I wasn't able to go to the appt but I sent questions along and asked him to record their meeting. That night we listened to the tape together and talked about what the Dr. had said. There didn't seem like any reason keeping us from accepting the referral for cute "little Z". :) Woo hoo!!!
I think it was December when we chose the name Eli for him. I'll have to ask my Book Club gals when we read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, because we chose the name shortly before we read that book in Book Club. I know this because the name Eli is in the book and I was delighted to see it there. It's a good book, btw, just an awful title. S, A, J, and L - do you remember when we read the Potato Peel book? At any rate, we tried to find a name with same meaning as "little Z", no luck. We tried to find a name that we liked that sounded like "little Z", no luck there either. So we chose Eli bc we both liked it a lot, it's easy to say and spell, and it seemed to suit him, or at least his photos.
Then there were phone conference calls with our SWs. More paper work. Monthly photo updates - usually three new photos arrived via email each month. And in March we got another extensive update on him - full physical, therapist reports, social workers reports, detailed info from his foster mom. We were told we would soon be scheduled for skype video sessions with him! :) Yeah!
With guidance from our WHFC SWs, we put together a care package in March and sent it to Taipei to Chung Yi Child Welfare Center. They got it to him and our May photos show him opening and enjoying the treats: photo album of our house and family, cd of kids music, Good Night, Gorilla book, crayons, stickers, small stuffed dog, small squishy balls... He was also riding a bike in these photos! We were so surprised to see that. Training wheels on, of course, but going full speed ahead on his own.
On May 16th at 10pm we had our first skype session with Eli. We were also given lots of support from WHFC for our skype session preparations. They gave us ideas of how to structure the time, what to expect, things to plan for, etc. So helpful! The skype session was fun. We read books, he played with blocks, we sang the clean up song for him - he apparently loves to clean up. :) We showed him the attic play space and some animal toys, play food... We got to see him run a little and smile. He kept on holding things up to the computer screen to show us. When he was reading books on the table he would keep on looking up to check on us. So sweet.
Spent a good amount of time in May and June getting Eli's room ready. This meant rearranging our 2nd floor rooms a good deal. My office, Penny (our pet hedgehog) and laundry and ironing are all in the pink room now. Eli's room is where my office used to be in the smaller light brown walled room (SW). We got a small shelf in there, a dresser, a toddler bed, bean bag cushion and farm scene rug from Target, small red table and chairs from Ikea. The shelf is made out of the drawers that used to be built into J's office wall. He built a laundry chute from the 2nd and 1st floor down to the basement and re-did his entire closet. By re-did I mean took a sledge hammer to all the walls and tore the whole thing apart before rebuilding and reshaping it around the laundry chute, constructing new shelves, poles, using old shutters for the shelf sides, painting it all brown - it's very cool! And so he took the old white drawers out and attached them to each other making a unique looking shelf unit for Eli's room. It's fun to re-use! :) (Have you seen our bed head board that J made from an old door?!)
On June 26th at 10pm we had skype session #2. Thank you to J's brother, Matt for letting us borrow his laptop for both of these sessions. Ours was too old to be able to handle skype. This time we had the skype session in Eli's room. We read some books, played with cars. He had a hat and sunglasses on and was sure to point out his new clothes (with American flags on his shirt). We showed him around his room. The best part was when he pulled out this harmonica. Not a kids harmonica, mind you, the real deal. He was blowing his little heart out playing it. I thought he might pass out, but no, he kept on going. J went up to the attic to get his guitar to play along with him. Eli noticed that J was gone and was asking where he went. I said he'd be right back. He came back soon and played the guitar for Eli. He loved it! The two of them had this great jam session together. My plan was not to cry, but how could anyone blame me really. It was such a precious moment! :)
I'll stop here with this one for now and the next one will be about our shocking July!
2007 - fall 2011: the beginning
The 2007 - 2011 part of our adoption timeline.
Okay, so back in the winter/spring of 2007 we started talking about the idea of adoption. We both liked it. It just made good sense to both of us. We decided that if we chose to have kids, adoption was going to be our path. We were not really talking about marriage yet, but just forward thinking... Seemed good to discuss family ideas/plans along with location for home, goals, etc before we dug into serious marriage talks. Then summer of 2007 began our marriage talks in earnest.
Then a very romantic engagement in October of 2007 and we got married in July of 2008. :)
Winter of 2009 we started talking about having a family. We decided, yes, we wanted to have a child. We started exploring adoption options. Lots and lots of research, reading, meetings, seminars, phone calls later we decided on Wide Horizons for Children in MA and Jewish Family Services as our agencies. And we chose the pilot program in Taiwan through WHFC.
For several reason the Taiwan pilot program appealed to us. I used to live in Taiwan (1997-1998) and I love the country, culture, people... The pilot program would let us begin our paper work and process at just 2 years married instead of the usual 4 or 5 years married. We were ready to start. :) They said we would need to do independent travel in Taiwan - perfect! :) That's just the way we like it. And there was a high need for toddler adoptions. Great! That's just what we want -to create a forever family for a child who really needs one. And a toddler - super! :)
So we started taking classes (online) and reading books but couldn't officially begin submitting our paperwork until July 2010 when we reached our 2 year wedding anniversary. We officially started right after our second wedding anniversary with our first applications and paper work. All was going well. We were in a 3-5 year old child age category and doing lots of work. Then December 17, 2010 we finally got the last of our paper work in and were final ready and excited to wait for the referral of a child. We were told this could take quite a while. (1-2 years) Okay. That's okay. We can wait and try to be patient. We knew this was how it would go. We were happy to sit and wait after so much work.
A few weeks later though, January 6, 2011, we got a dreaded phone call. There had been many families interested in the new Taiwan pilot program and now there was a very very loooong wait. (3-5 years just for a referral! but no guarantees.) We would have to "wait to wait" is what we were told. We weren't even actively waiting anymore because Taiwan had put in place a cap of 3 families waiting and we were further down the waiting list than that. Uuugh. We were shocked and devastated.
We just sat with this for about a month. It was really tough. We didn't even want to tell folks. We didn't know if we needed to start all over again and choose a new program. We really weren't sure what to do. We began to research and look into other options. This was so hard. Taiwan had seemed so right for us and now it was not a viable option. We slowly started sharing our sad news and doing new research in February and March of 2011. We looked into other agencies and other country programs.
Then our WHFC social workers called us in March with a new option. They suggested we move from the 3-5 year old category into the birth - 2 years old category. They said we still wouldn't be on the actively waiting list, but we would be very close to being on the waiting list. From the start we had been open to adopting a child from birth - 5 years old, so this seemed great, a good fit. We agreed quickly and were thrilled that we wouldn't have to close our hearts to the Taiwan program that we so much had hoped for. So more paperwork and forms to change our age range category, but we were soon "waiting to wait" in the birth - 2 years group and happy about it. We had been assured that sometime soon we would be actively waiting for a referral. Good news!
Summer of 2011, I think, we were given an actual seat in the waiting position. Well, no, not an actual seat, but we were in the top three (#3 of course) families list awaiting a referral. I don't have this date recorded. Not sure how I forgot to write this down, I seem to have everything else documented. If I find it, I'll add it later. We were told that perhaps we would have a referral by spring or summer of 2012. Okay. Sounds good.
We got a new SW with WHFC in August. We were sad to say goodbye to our first one, but our second and third SWs have also been great. :)
I started a new job at the end of August and had a very busy fall with so much to learn and do. All was going well. :) I was thinking we might have a referral in the spring or summer, so I would have time to share our adoption plan news with my new principals and co-workers. I was, after all, still getting to know people and I can be very slow at that.
I think I'll end this post now and the next one will be Fall of 2011 - Summer of 2012.
Okay, so back in the winter/spring of 2007 we started talking about the idea of adoption. We both liked it. It just made good sense to both of us. We decided that if we chose to have kids, adoption was going to be our path. We were not really talking about marriage yet, but just forward thinking... Seemed good to discuss family ideas/plans along with location for home, goals, etc before we dug into serious marriage talks. Then summer of 2007 began our marriage talks in earnest.
Then a very romantic engagement in October of 2007 and we got married in July of 2008. :)
Winter of 2009 we started talking about having a family. We decided, yes, we wanted to have a child. We started exploring adoption options. Lots and lots of research, reading, meetings, seminars, phone calls later we decided on Wide Horizons for Children in MA and Jewish Family Services as our agencies. And we chose the pilot program in Taiwan through WHFC.
For several reason the Taiwan pilot program appealed to us. I used to live in Taiwan (1997-1998) and I love the country, culture, people... The pilot program would let us begin our paper work and process at just 2 years married instead of the usual 4 or 5 years married. We were ready to start. :) They said we would need to do independent travel in Taiwan - perfect! :) That's just the way we like it. And there was a high need for toddler adoptions. Great! That's just what we want -to create a forever family for a child who really needs one. And a toddler - super! :)
So we started taking classes (online) and reading books but couldn't officially begin submitting our paperwork until July 2010 when we reached our 2 year wedding anniversary. We officially started right after our second wedding anniversary with our first applications and paper work. All was going well. We were in a 3-5 year old child age category and doing lots of work. Then December 17, 2010 we finally got the last of our paper work in and were final ready and excited to wait for the referral of a child. We were told this could take quite a while. (1-2 years) Okay. That's okay. We can wait and try to be patient. We knew this was how it would go. We were happy to sit and wait after so much work.
A few weeks later though, January 6, 2011, we got a dreaded phone call. There had been many families interested in the new Taiwan pilot program and now there was a very very loooong wait. (3-5 years just for a referral! but no guarantees.) We would have to "wait to wait" is what we were told. We weren't even actively waiting anymore because Taiwan had put in place a cap of 3 families waiting and we were further down the waiting list than that. Uuugh. We were shocked and devastated.
We just sat with this for about a month. It was really tough. We didn't even want to tell folks. We didn't know if we needed to start all over again and choose a new program. We really weren't sure what to do. We began to research and look into other options. This was so hard. Taiwan had seemed so right for us and now it was not a viable option. We slowly started sharing our sad news and doing new research in February and March of 2011. We looked into other agencies and other country programs.
Then our WHFC social workers called us in March with a new option. They suggested we move from the 3-5 year old category into the birth - 2 years old category. They said we still wouldn't be on the actively waiting list, but we would be very close to being on the waiting list. From the start we had been open to adopting a child from birth - 5 years old, so this seemed great, a good fit. We agreed quickly and were thrilled that we wouldn't have to close our hearts to the Taiwan program that we so much had hoped for. So more paperwork and forms to change our age range category, but we were soon "waiting to wait" in the birth - 2 years group and happy about it. We had been assured that sometime soon we would be actively waiting for a referral. Good news!
Summer of 2011, I think, we were given an actual seat in the waiting position. Well, no, not an actual seat, but we were in the top three (#3 of course) families list awaiting a referral. I don't have this date recorded. Not sure how I forgot to write this down, I seem to have everything else documented. If I find it, I'll add it later. We were told that perhaps we would have a referral by spring or summer of 2012. Okay. Sounds good.
We got a new SW with WHFC in August. We were sad to say goodbye to our first one, but our second and third SWs have also been great. :)
I started a new job at the end of August and had a very busy fall with so much to learn and do. All was going well. :) I was thinking we might have a referral in the spring or summer, so I would have time to share our adoption plan news with my new principals and co-workers. I was, after all, still getting to know people and I can be very slow at that.
I think I'll end this post now and the next one will be Fall of 2011 - Summer of 2012.
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